逝去的愛 firt lve (第1/7頁)
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約翰·沃爾特斯
JohnWalters
Irememberthewaythelighttouchedherhair。Sheturnedherhead,andoureyesmet,amomentaryawarenessinthatraucousfifth-gradeclassroom。IfeltasthoughIdbeenstruckablowundertheheart。Thusbeganmyfirstloveaffair。
HernamewasRachel,andImoonedmywaythroughgradeandhighschool,strickenatthemeresightofher,tongue-tiedinherresence。Doesanyone,anymore,lingerintheshadowsofevening,drawnbythealelightofawindow-herwindow-likesomehalesssummerinsect?
Iwouldcatchsightofher,walkingdownanaisleoftreestoorfromschool,andI’dbecomearalyzed。Shealwaysseemedsooised,soself-ossessed。Athome,I’dreliveeachencounter,writhingatthethoughtofmyinadequacies。Evenso,asweenteredourteens,Isensedheraffectionatetoleranceforme。
“Goingsteady”imliedamaturitywestilllacked。HerOrthodoxJewishubringingandmyownCatholicscrulesimosedacelibategracethatmadeevenkissingadistantrosect,howeverferventlydesired。Imanagedtoholdheronceatadance-chaeroned,ofcourse。Ourembracemadehergiggle,asoundsotrustingthatIhatedmy